I hate being a Pancreas.....

I've worn many hats in my life thus far, there are those I was born into, daughter and sister. Those I've acquired as I grew up, student, athlete, and friend. And there is the most important hat of all, MOM. Little did I know that God would choose to bless me with a special kind of child. A child with whom I would wear yet another hat, a pancreas. A child with Type 1 diabetes.

There are days where I feel my duties as a pancreas have been handled wonderfully, then there are days where I just want to scream out that I hate being a pancreas... But unlike Clifford's actual pancreas, I may get tired, and worn out, but I will not quit working.

Have you ever had that pulling feeling that you need to do something right away? That type of feeling occurred to me at 2:30 am while I was up with the twins. It was the type of feeling that I had to stop what I was doing and just NEEDED to test Clifford. I couldn't wait till 3 like normal, for some reason my world ceased to move until I went and tested him. Normally this type of feeling, leads to a discovery of lows, and has been life saving in the past. But this time brought on another number I, as a pancreas, hate to see, 401! This is where my duties as a pancreas must kick in and I must make the right decision on what to do. I debated briefly with myself, do I correct and give an injection to a sleeping boy at 2:30 in the morning, or do I let him ride it out and hope he goes back down by morning. I decided to re test him, to make sure the number was correct. The next beep of the meter revealed what I had hoped was just a fluke, 403! I did not feel good to let him ride this out through the night knowing he climbs in the early morning hours of 4 to 5 am. I decided to correct and give him an injection. But these are the times I spoke of where I detest my pancreatic duties, and I detest his pancreas for not doing it's job... But they are also the times when all goes well, that I am happy I was there to serve as a pancreas for him, when his has decided to quit.. As of 6am we are sitting pretty at 153, a much better number to have him waking up to.. Clifford did end up waking up for the injection and wanted me to make a guess on what his waking number would be, I guessed 182, he said nope it's going to be 123! I surely hope for him he is correct, that would be an awesome number!