Thursday, April 12, 2012

WEGO Day #12: Stream of Consciousness

“This morning I looked in the mirror”…..
This morning I looked in the mirror and behind the tired eyes I saw determination and motivation. I am determined to get a lot done today in all aspects of my life, work, home, family, etc. So bring on the day. In all seriousness, I couldn’t pull myself awake at 5am, due to Clifford being low at 3:30 am. I actually woke him up by saying “You’ve got to be kidding me”. But at least he was up to drink his juice box. And even with only 15grams he was still 191 this morning, no happy medium today YET!
In reality when I looked in the mirror (read below)
This morning I looked in the mirror, past that huge pimple that just sprouted on my forehead due to me going for the easy route the last few weeks and eating whatever I could grab quickly for myself, not sticking to the gluten free diet that has helped me tremendously.  With the switch to gluten free many things got better. My stomach for one didn’t feel as if someone was running around doing flips in it, and screaming in pain, my ulcer wasn’t hurting, the migraines I was getting daily went poof, eczema cleared up, I felt tremendously better. But I was busy and gave into the rush of things and grabbed whatever we had. Sad to say a week later I’m feeling like crap, but back on the gluten free diet for myself (kept the family on it the whole time though). And I’ve bagged up foods we can’t use here anymore that contain wheat, soy, etc. So day #2 and I’m feeling a bit better minus that huge new person on my face. Hopefully it has something to do with my return to my diet and the new dosage of my thyroid pill. I’m now on 50 mcgs instead of 25mcgs as my levels were still too high. If you don’t already know I have hypothryoidism, actually Clifford and I both do except Clifford’s was due to Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, and mine more than likely was pregnancy induced during my pregnancy with Abby. However at my last check up thyroid TSH levels were still rocking up there at 12.7 (no wonder I’m still sleepy) so an increase in the dosage it is.  My iron levels for my anemia were much better back where they should be but still have to take my supplements (YUCK), I really cannot stand those things.
So what do I really see when I look in the mirror since I adverted from the original post, I see someone with not enough time in the day to do everything I want to accomplish. I’ve attempted to block schedule my day to make it a bit easier, but we’re still a bit behind today. Twins are about 1 hr later for breakfast as they are like me and kind of stick their noses up at breakfast shortly after they wake up. So I think an edit of the schedule is in order. It was created in hopes of keeping me sane throughout the day with everything that needs done. One thing I’ve noticed is there is no “down” time for me. So I am hoping to figure out where to squeeze that in as well. I also have a project or two for myself of creating a chore chart for the children, their day to me is unstructured and I do not like that. I think before and after school there should be some responsibilities with helping around the house such as making their beds, Clifford can pull and take out the garbage daily as it’s not too heavy, keeping shoes on the rack, picking up when they are not, etc, etc. I’m trying to come up with more to provide more structure to their day. In addition I’ve been growing some plants for our garden from seeds so I tend to them daily. The children and I are going to plant some pumpkins in hopes of having some for fall. We need to map out where the gardens will go as well. So for now I’m very busy, but I really never know what to do with myself when I’m not.
In addition:
This morning when I looked in the mirror I saw my son’s pancreas.. Both Clifford and Chad think I’m odd referring to myself as this, but for right now I’m his pancreas, I have complete say so and control over how much insulin to give him. I have to decide in the middle of the night when he’s high how much to give or should I go with what the pump says…. I have to treat him when he’s low to bring him back up. I function as his external pancreas and will be until he no longer requires my services.
Maybe I really should get a bigger mirror so I can see all this at once….