While reading my book yesterday the one chapter got me thinking. It was about greeting the day with a forgiving spirit. It really had me thinking about those I thought I had forgiven, and those yet to be forgiven, aka Diabetes. It necessarily doesn't have to be a person you must forgive in order to set yourself free. It can be something that you detest so much it pulls at you from every direction. I wrote down a few of the quotes that I really enjoyed in there and would like to share it with you all. "When I give forgiveness, I free my own spirit to release the anger and hatred harbored in my heart. "By granting forgiveness, I free my spirit to pursue my future happily and unencumbered by the anchors of my past. While I really love these quotes for other aspects of my past. I am however uncertain if I've reached the spot to forgive D for entering into our lives. I really do not enjoy the resentment, and hatred that I carry with me. It's making me feel tired, and held back from reaching my full potential with everything in life. This part of me knows it's not healthy to harbor these feelings for this disease, but it's so easy to. It almost took my sons life, not once but three times. It's very easy to speak ill about D at any given point.
However I feel I need to release these feelings towards this disease in order to move forward with our future and in order to move forward as a more effective pancreas for Clifford. So today I am offering my forgiveness to Diabetes.
I forgive you for entering into our lives through my son. I forgive you for taking control over his body, I forgive you for being a royal pain in the hiney ALL the time. And most importantly I forgive myself for not always being perfect, I do the best I can and that is all that I can ask for.To quote another quote from my book " I realize today that it is impossible to fight an enemy living inside my head". "By forgiving myself I erase the doubts, fears, and frustration that have kept my past in my present".
I believe if I can forgive D, I can therefore open the door to forgive anything and everyone that has yet to be forgiven, or appropriately forgive those that I had forgiven in the past. Forgiveness is a gift to be given, not a gift to be asked for.
In case you are curious as to the book I'm mentioned a few times now, I highly recommend it. It is called "The Traveler's Gift", by Andy Andrews.
