Friday, June 1, 2012

It’s always there… The fear….

What can I say, it’s always in the back of my head, the fear that one of my other children will have to get dealt the same cards that Clifford has. And while I tell myself, we’re better prepared, we’ll catch it earlier, we’ll be able to handle this all so much better, it doesn’t really make things easier, it doesn’t make the fear go away.

Something as simple as a growth spurt and out of the blue flu scares the crap outta me. I may not show it on the outside but on the inside I’m screaming. Abby became sick on Monday night, and Tuesday she couldn’t keep anything down. At one point I decided to test her, and test ketones to see just how much a non D can spill, and you know just to check. Well the ketone meter beeped before the BG meter and it read 6.2… Thankfully the BG meter only read 84. But then there’s the growth spurt. It’s made her look soo much skinner than before and well when Clifford was dx’d he lost some weight and look so skinny.100_8048

So unfortunately she got a brief look into the testing like he goes through tested and got a number much higher than I’d like a 239, retested thinking food was still in there working around and still higher than I’d like 2 hrs post meal of 155. But the fasting number revealed a 93! That doesn’t mean the fear will go away it’s always going to be there, and more than likely she’ll be tested again in the future. It’s just part of the territory I guess, having one child with T1, you just get concerned another dx will be around the corner… Nothing can prepare you for that, no matter how much you think you will be prepared or better prepared than the first time around… nothing.