Sometimes after a long day or night of Diabetes I think... No wonder his pancreas decided to quit, this is a TOUGH job! No matter the amount of work we put into it, the consistency with meals, carbs, etc, nothing is ever going to be the same. I heard once that with Diabetes there are three things that are in your control (Counting carbs, amount of insulin you give, testing blood sugar), and there are 800 different things that you cannot control. I don't know about you but 3 to 800, I don't like those odds.
What does it mean to be a full time pancreas? I'm honestly not 100% sure. We are almost 3 years into playing Clifford's new pancreas and I haven't got it all figured out. I know that when I go upstairs at night to test him, my heart isn't sure how to feel, if it's a high # I'm up making sure he doesn't drop too fast, if it's a low # I'm up making sure he goes up quick enough. If it's a normal number, I go back to sleep for a few hours with the uncertainty of what's going to happen in those few hours.
I know what it feels like to put your child to bed at night with no worries, and that their body is going to work properly and do what it needs to do to keep them alive. We have kids that don't have Diabetes, and let me tell you that feeling is refreshing and wonderful. So if your reading this and your kids don't have diabetes, no matter what is going on in your life at this very moment that you think is horrible, just soak in that feeling, as there is none like it.
It takes some time swallowing the feeling of putting them to bed at night, saying I love you's and "I'll see you in the morning" when you really don't know if that second part is true. All you can do is do the best that you were trained to do and hope that you see their smiling faces in the morning.... That's what being a full time pancreas is.
