Everyone has a time when they second guess themselves and the decisions they are making. Sometimes it is as simple as making the decision on what to wear for the day. However in D life, the decisions are vital to the health and well being of our children.Usually I'm pretty good at holding a steady head and not second guessing the decisions I'm making regarding D. Until once in a blue moon, someone who really has no idea what it's like to live with a child who has D day in and out decides to open their mouth. It's one thing to say "oh why did you do this", and it's another to question ever single move I make in regards to D. Especially when there is nothing I'd wish more then for my boy to be rid of D and have a healthy, normal childhood. And especially when D takes over my mind 24/7/365. I don't even get a break from D when I am sleeping, (those special occasions that I do). The best way to put it is, I really don't like second guessing myself when it comes to D.
However, in that brief moment of second guessing it is reassuring to have others who know you and what you are doing tell you, you made the right decision, and D is definitely not always black or white. It's also reassuring to have someone stand by your decisions and know you are doing whatever it takes to make sure Cliffy is cared for properly. It is also a nice pat on the back when the health care team responsible for your child lets you know, you did exactly what they would have done given the circumstances.
The point of this post is mainly a vent, and a "How dare you", at those who question. I make sure to provide the best care possible for Cliffy when it comes to D. D gives me a headache daily, makes me want to pull my hair out, and I curse D under my breath all the time! But I make sure to do what needs to be done to ensure the safety and health of my child. If there was a way I could switch places with him, I would in a heartbeat. But unfortunately life is not a fairytale, and a magic wand can't be waved for my wishes. If it was we definitely wouldn't be close with D as we are now!
