Thursday, January 13, 2011

The point of no return

Diabetes wears on everyone involved, the amount of care required to stay within range is tremendous. It's been awhile since I reached the point of no return, that point where you are more then tired and really are not sure if you are awake or dreaming. But my lack of blog posting yesterday is proof I reached it.

The day prior my morning started at 3am with a blood sugar check, then feeding Annie. Once Annie was out, Maggie woke up, so it was feeding time for her. When it was all said and done it was 5:30 am and really what is the point in going to sleep when I'd be back up at 6 anyways to start my normal routine, so I stayed up.

Throughout the day I slammed caffeine in me left and right which actually seemed to work all day until around 9pm when I really felt like I couldn't function anymore. By 9:30-10pm we were in bed for the night, (Which really in my world usually means 2 hours) but hey 2 hours seemed like an eternity at this point to me. Maggie decided to wake up at 10:30 refusing to go to sleep. When she finally decided it was time for bed it was just a little after 12, which meant a blood sugar check for Cliffy. After completing this task I managed to have my head hitting the pillow at 12:15. Only to be woken up at 1:30 by Cliffy because he felt dizzy.

It's really hard for him now as he's becoming unable to feel the lows, but is feeling his highs as if they were lows. At this test it showed he was just shy of 400. But he was thirsty because one of the side effects to being that high is you feel very thirsty. After getting him his water and tucked back in it was almost 2am, but I was beat. However at just before 3am, both babies decided to wake up for a feeding, which was just in time for me to test Cliffy so it seemed okay.

It was however till I was finished feeding them waiting for them to go to sleep that I just couldn't function much anymore. I was to the point of exhaustion where I just wanted to cry. Thankfully it didn't take long for the babies to go back to sleep and I was back in bed by 4am and slept till 6. Which honestly those 2 hours straight definitely made a difference. That added in with some much needed caffeine. I managed to make it through my day not so tired. And even though last night it was again a scheduled 12 and 3am check. I managed to get some much needed rest. In bed by 9pm slept till the alarm went off at 12, then back in bed right away we were steady and not too high. I slept again till 3 when my alarm went off again, this time both babies were hungry but at this point I had 6 hours of broken sleep in me and that is much more then I've seen in a LONG time. I managed to get back to sleep by 4:30 and slept till 7:15 in time to wake Cliffy up for school. Now today I'm definitely feeling refreshed. It's actually a weird feeling to feel awake and not the caffeine induced awake as usual.

My point for this huge rant and a peek into my nights after everyone is in bed is the fact that Diabetes never sleeps, it never takes a break. It throws a wrench into everything possible it can. It is found everywhere in a D home. To make light of the situation and show you just what I mean by everywhere an example is this. You find testing strips all over the place. I find them when sweeping the living and kitchen floors. I find them on the floor by cliffy's nightstand after overnight tests, I find them in his backpack from school, in my pocket of my robe I use to put all his supplies including a juice box just in case when testing overnight. And just this morning I found them in the lint filter when cleaning it out to dry some laundry. It might not seem funny to most but to me it was hilarious and the final straw that it is in fact EVERYWHERE! At least it allowed me to get a good giggle out of it.