Let me start by stating, I believe in God. However, when Cliffy was first diagnosed, I questioned why he was chosen, why did God have to make it so my son's life changed forever. It's just the nature of the beast to wonder why, and ask "why me". But let me tell you what I've learned from this experience.
Let's start with a snippet of a book I've been reading. In the future when I am tempted to ask the question "Why me?" I will immediately counter with the answer: "Why not me". Challenges are gifts, opportunities to learn. Problems are the common thread running through the lives of great men and women. In times of adversity, I will not have a problem to deal with, I will have a choice to make. Clifford's diabetes is NOT a problem. We have a choice daily and that choice is to live! I have learned from my past that I can handle a lot that is put on my plate. So if God chose my son to have diabetes, he chose him because he knew Cliffy and I could handle it. He knew that I would care for him to the fullest that I possibly can. He also knew not a day would go by that I wouldn't be educating myself about the disease, and learning as much as I possibly can so one day we could find a cure!
For me personally, Cliffy's diagnosis forced me to slow down in life. To take it one day at a time and cherish every moment I had with him and my kids. It showed me just how precious life is and that at any moment everything could change. He was diagnosed in DKA, and many of you know that is not something you would want your worst enemy to experience with their child. I cried the whole first day as it looked like something was taking over my son's tiny body. But with prayers and hope, things turned around for the better. Yes our lives have changed, yes he is no longer a normal child. But we can handle it, and we can move forward and make a difference.
If you are questioning why your son or daughter or yourself was given this fate, then take a step back and think, God knows you are really strong and you could handle it. He needs strong advocates in his corner to not only care for these special children and adults, but to fight to find a cure! Everytime when I would think about questioning why in the beginning, I would go back to a poem I read shortly after diagnosis.
How God Selects the Mother of a Diabetic Child
by Erma Bombeck Modified a great deal by me.
Some women become mothers by accident, most by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with diabetes are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint Matthew."
"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, Patron Saint Cecilia."
"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a child with diabetes." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly", smiles God. "Could I give a child with diabetes to a mother who does not know laughter?"
"She has the patience?" the Angel agrees.
"Once the shock wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She is strong. You see, the child I am going to give her will require great care. It's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, could this make her stop believing."
God smiles. "No. This one is perfect. She has a strong faith in me."God nods. "Yes, this is the woman whom I will bless with this child. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work."
So if you remember anything from this posting, when you are tempted to ask "Why me", counter it with "Why not me". God obviously knows you and your child are strong, but the most important question is "Do you know"?.