February is supposed to be the month of "love". To me every month is a month of love. But this February brings with it a new feeling that I'm not really enjoying. Last year on February 28th, Cliffy was diagnosed with the monster I refer to as "D", Type 1 diabetes. That was the day our lives changed forever. Up until now I have been able to think "this time last year he was D free". But now that our D anniversary date is slowly sneaking up on us, everything becomes more real.
Gone are the care free days of his childhood, when a snack meant a cookie, or a juice box. Now cookies and juice boxes are our "Life savers" to bring up lows from hypoglycemia. We've seen the inside of an ambulance too many times to count this year alone from hypos. And unfortunately we've even rode on a life flight to Children's from a hypo episode where he passed out.
February is bitter sweet for me. As our date gets closer and closer the tears want to start flowing more and more. But in reality crying about what happened and what is our reality now isn't going to solve anything. I instead am trying to think of the positives that this February holds for us. Abby and Clifford are excited about sending out Valentines to their D friends and D siblings. Clifford is over joyed at the thought of handing out Valentines in school for the first time ever this year. The twins turn 4 months old tomorrow, and already are growing bigger daily. Speaking of the twins.... Sometime in the beginning of February of last year is when the twins came to be ( wink wink) so that is another positive to think about as we get through this month in one piece.
As with everything else, I take it one day at a time, but no matter how hard I try time still flies by faster then I would like it to. So here's to February, I will make it through you without too many tears!
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