About a week ago I was asked to do a guest spot on this blog. The topic I was given was about being a Step-parent to a child with diabetes. About two years ago when Bridget and I were about a month and a half into our newly rekindled romance Clifford was diagnosed with T1 diabetes. This came as a giant shock to both of us and I spent the weekend sitting in different waiting rooms ( I was chased from waiting area to waiting area by a very disgruntled ex-husband) waiting for updates on Clifford's condition and how our lives and relationship were going to change. My life was in turmoil from my own life going to crap and I did not want to abandon Bridget in her time of need and this disease was not going to scare me off. I'm a combat veteran I've survived scarier!
The hardest part for me in dealing with all of this is that I'm not Clifford's biological father. I have no legal rights to the boy. I am not allowed (by law) to make any of the decisions that concern his diabetic care, even though I know more about T1, I have been to more clinics, and I have taken more classes than his biological father. Although Bridget does allow my input which means a lot to me. It would get very aggravating for me to see him go off to his biological father's place and come back with stories of eating whatever he wanted(this is pre-carb counting)and numbers that were all over the place or high as a kite. It also currently drives me nuts to go to all these classes and do all the leg work only to have this guy come in second guess the directions that we send along and call the hospital to get someone to give him a different easier answer.
In the end I have willingly chosen to have diabetes in my life and I do it happily and lovingly. I love my T1 kid and his incredibly strong mother. Yeah I know he's not MINE, but he IS mine and I layed claim. It's a territorial man thing.
You're right, Chad... Clifford IS yours. He's part of Bridget and Bridget is part of you and so on and so forth... all coming down to the fact that you love him and support him, not just through the diabetes but in raising him to become the man that God would have him be. You're the hands-on man in his life. Keep your frustrations focused on the person causing them as opposed to the kids caught in the middle. They are going to be so thankful that you've chosen them (all three of them) to be your children. You and Bridget give them stability and continuity, and from that comes their security. It's a tough world out there... You guys will prepare them well, I have no doubt. Blessings!
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