Sunday, July 3, 2011

Diabetes Break

Clifford is on a week long visit with his dad, so there is no D in the house, and it just feels un-natural. For the most part I'm doing okay with not worrying "as much" about how his numbers are and what's going on. It's hard not really knowing his numbers until he get's back, other then asking Clifford on the phone and getting a short "eh good, and high" response.

So how do you enjoy a Diabetes break? I still have moments when I wake up in the middle of the night a bit concerned that I need to go test him, then I realize he's not home. So then my mind wanders wondering if he is getting tested and what's going on. I've just come to the realization that a break from Diabetes is not really a break at all. I still think about his numbers and wonder how they are. I still forget he's not home and think I need to go test him. I still out of habit look at the labels on everything and start counting out the carbs, then remember I don't have to. You'll even hear me mention just how much sugar and carbs are in certain things because I sit there when I have a moment and read the nutrition labels, just for fun, I guess.

It's hard to really write about anything surrounding diabetes when he's away as I'm not dealing with the day to day. I however deal with the non stop feeling of D. The same feeling you get when you send your D child to school for those few hours during the day. You might not be dealing with all things D, but you still are dealing with it inside.

I'm doing my best not to worry, but really how can you stop thinking about it?

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