That's Clifford about 1 month before being diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. D probably already began it's invasion on his body during this time, but we had no idea. It's hard to go back and look at old photographs, instead of just remembering the happy times, or that particular occasion, it's more of a "Hey that was before D" scenario. All of the pictures now are "Before D", and "After D".
Eventually I get to remembering what happened or what was going on when that picture was taken, but the first thought was that was before all of this.. How do you get past labeling your pictures "Before and After D?". You don't, you will always remember if that picture was taken before or after. It's not always a bad thing, it can be hard, and sad, but it's also a time to think about how lucky you are, even now after the diagnosis.
This particular picture may have been before D, and even though it's hard to look back on these pictures, it's also a happy feeling because he is still with us. It takes awhile to get over the guilt of diagnosis I will call it. I previously wrote a post on this subject which you can find here. But eventually we do move on from blaming ourselves for D entering our lives, and work in taking as much comfort in our new "norm" that we can. Besides D has enough power in our relationship already, don't give it more then it deserves!
Exactly. How can you not think that way? Diagnosis day was life changing.
ReplyDeleteI always have the same thoughts when looking at pictures. I don't think that will ever go away, as Jules said, Diagnosis day was life changing.
ReplyDeleteAs long as we can still "see" more into the pictures, and not just the Pre-D or Post-D, I think we will be ok. :)