WEGO Day #12: Stream of Consciousness

“This morning I looked in the mirror”…..
This morning I looked in the mirror and behind the tired eyes I saw determination and motivation. I am determined to get a lot done today in all aspects of my life, work, home, family, etc. So bring on the day. In all seriousness, I couldn’t pull myself awake at 5am, due to Clifford being low at 3:30 am. I actually woke him up by saying “You’ve got to be kidding me”. But at least he was up to drink his juice box. And even with only 15grams he was still 191 this morning, no happy medium today YET!
In reality when I looked in the mirror (read below)
This morning I looked in the mirror, past that huge pimple that just sprouted on my forehead due to me going for the easy route the last few weeks and eating whatever I could grab quickly for myself, not sticking to the gluten free diet that has helped me tremendously.  With the switch to gluten free many things got better. My stomach for one didn’t feel as if someone was running around doing flips in it, and screaming in pain, my ulcer wasn’t hurting, the migraines I was getting daily went poof, eczema cleared up, I felt tremendously better. But I was busy and gave into the rush of things and grabbed whatever we had. Sad to say a week later I’m feeling like crap, but back on the gluten free diet for myself (kept the family on it the whole time though). And I’ve bagged up foods we can’t use here anymore that contain wheat, soy, etc. So day #2 and I’m feeling a bit better minus that huge new person on my face. Hopefully it has something to do with my return to my diet and the new dosage of my thyroid pill. I’m now on 50 mcgs instead of 25mcgs as my levels were still too high. If you don’t already know I have hypothryoidism, actually Clifford and I both do except Clifford’s was due to Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, and mine more than likely was pregnancy induced during my pregnancy with Abby. However at my last check up thyroid TSH levels were still rocking up there at 12.7 (no wonder I’m still sleepy) so an increase in the dosage it is.  My iron levels for my anemia were much better back where they should be but still have to take my supplements (YUCK), I really cannot stand those things.
So what do I really see when I look in the mirror since I adverted from the original post, I see someone with not enough time in the day to do everything I want to accomplish. I’ve attempted to block schedule my day to make it a bit easier, but we’re still a bit behind today. Twins are about 1 hr later for breakfast as they are like me and kind of stick their noses up at breakfast shortly after they wake up. So I think an edit of the schedule is in order. It was created in hopes of keeping me sane throughout the day with everything that needs done. One thing I’ve noticed is there is no “down” time for me. So I am hoping to figure out where to squeeze that in as well. I also have a project or two for myself of creating a chore chart for the children, their day to me is unstructured and I do not like that. I think before and after school there should be some responsibilities with helping around the house such as making their beds, Clifford can pull and take out the garbage daily as it’s not too heavy, keeping shoes on the rack, picking up when they are not, etc, etc. I’m trying to come up with more to provide more structure to their day. In addition I’ve been growing some plants for our garden from seeds so I tend to them daily. The children and I are going to plant some pumpkins in hopes of having some for fall. We need to map out where the gardens will go as well. So for now I’m very busy, but I really never know what to do with myself when I’m not.
In addition:
This morning when I looked in the mirror I saw my son’s pancreas.. Both Clifford and Chad think I’m odd referring to myself as this, but for right now I’m his pancreas, I have complete say so and control over how much insulin to give him. I have to decide in the middle of the night when he’s high how much to give or should I go with what the pump says…. I have to treat him when he’s low to bring him back up. I function as his external pancreas and will be until he no longer requires my services.
Maybe I really should get a bigger mirror so I can see all this at once….

WEGO: Day #10 Dear 16 year old me

Today’s Prompt is to write a letter to your 16 year old self, I think the picture above is “16 year old me" give or take…

Dear 16 year old me;
Boy you have things pretty easy right now, even though you may not think you do. In just a few short years you will be forced to grow up much more than you probably need to. In just a few short years you will begin to know just how easy you have things right now, and how much you wish you could turn back the hands of time. You will learn fear that really you shouldn’t have to learn. But through it all you will learn strength. And in just 4 short years you will have in your arms a little boy that will change your entire world for the good. Things will be tough learning your way through motherhood and caring for this little boy, and in the years to follow his sisters that come along. But one things for sure, in just 9 years you will be happy once again, and know that even though things might not be easy you are not alone. Diabetes will take ahold of that precious little baby boy when he’s 6 years old. It will almost take his life away from you a few times, but you will get through it and learn to be happy throughout it all. You will learn so much that sometimes it may feel like your head is going to explode with all the vast information you have. But remember knowledge is a good thing. It equips you to better care for this special little boy with an unfortunate illness. But through it all you will thrive.
So 16 year old me, enjoy the time you have now being a “kid”, and perhaps do a few things you are thinking about but don’t want to take the leap and do , you definitely won’t regret them. Enjoy your few carefree years you have left, and prepare for the future.

WEGO Day #5: Inspired by Life

Inspired By LIFE

Image Source

WEGO Health Activist Writing Month Challenge Day #5: 

Write a post inspired by an image, also referred to as an Ekphrasis post

For my post today the image I have chosen is that of "new life". I can't help but think each time I would give Clifford an injection and now fill up his reservoir with insulin, and that "band aide" type smell of insulin would find it's way out that it's the smell of "life". Clifford thinks it's a bit strange that I refer to it as the smell of life, because it definitely doesn't smell good at all. But I can't help but think of it that way. Without this band aide smelling insulin he wouldn't be alive. Insulin is not a cure at all, but it's definitely a life saver, more of life support. Without it those with Type 1 diabetes would die. So to me insulin is life. Insulin took Clifford from an unconscious state of DKA with high blood sugars and ketones running wild through his body, slowly killing him, to a lively healthy 8 year old boy. How can you not look at insulin as life!

While I hope for a cure more than anything, for now I will settle and be happy for the invention of insulin, (Thank you Dr. Banting) and enjoy the "life" that my son is now allowed to experience. 

WEGO HAWMC Day #4 Write about health

I write about my health because... Reflect on why you write about your health


Well technically I don't write about "MY" health. But I do write about my son's health... At first my blog started as just a way to vent about the everyday issues we face with Type 1 diabetes. But as I've grown into the role of a caregiver and mother of a child with diabetes over the last 2 years, so has my blog. It's now become an outlet to give others (D and Non D families) a little bit of a look into what it's like to raise a child with a chronic illness, or what it's like to be a child with a chronic illness. I've shared our experiences in hopes of reaching out and helping someone out there that may be reading. I have a hope that some newly diagnosed families may come across my blog and take a look through everything only to gain a better understanding of things and realize that they are not alone. In the beginning your thrown into this whole new world, and it's confusing, scary, and honestly you don't see it as serious as it really is. In the beginning we really only learned all the "Technical" parts of diabetes management. We were told test the first two weeks at 12 & 3am, to tweak his Lantus (basal).... Then you can only test 2 nights a week.

I have to be honest after those two weeks I was exhausted, little did I realize that would become my new "norm". And I did cut back and test only two nights a week. ( thinking about it now scares the crap outta me). But as we've grown and experienced more of the "realistic" side of diabetes management so has our managing skills. He gets tested at least 3 times a night now. Once before I go to bed ( gives me peace of mind knowing what he is) again at 12 or 12:30 depending on his # when I go to bed and what time. Then once more at 3 or 3:30am. From time to time he'll get tested at 5am. I have to say I am learning to break out of my "norm". Last night was an example... Clifford was 111 at 11pm. 111 could go either way but I decided since I was getting up at 12 to test he'd be okay. Somehow I even woke up 15 mins before my alarm and he was 143.  This morning he woke up at 178... This leads me to question whether we need to change the basal at 3am. But that's a whole different story. I typically do not like a 111 at anytime before 3am. But I learned to go with it because there wasn't any nagging feeling of needing to treat it, I actually felt at peace with that number. Call it intuition, call it a 6th sense, or perhaps that's my "superpower" as discussed in yesterday's blog post. Whatever it is, it actually worked last night.

So the point to this all is, I write about his health for you all, and for myself. I write to help others in the same situation. I write to help those that may be a big ignorant as to what Type 1 diabetes is, and help to educate them properly. And I write for myself, writing helps me to release some tension, it helps me to think and analyze things when speaking about his numbers and basals etc. And you know what, I write for my son. When he gets older I'm hoping he'll stumble upon this and see how much I cared about him and his health, and more importantly that I love him.

WEGO HAWMC Day #3 Superpower Day

Superpower Day: If you had a superpower what would it be? How would you use it?


In reference to Type 1 diabetes my superpower would either be the ability to catch a low or high before they happen ( A human CGM if you will ), pretty much what a Diabetic Alert Dog can already do. Or the ability to regulate Clifford's pancreas as it worked before it decided to lose in the battle against his immune system. I'd imagine I would have a cape quite like this one:

Just imagine how much easier everything would be to detect highs and lows before they happen so we can fix them or to to regulate his pancreas with the blink of an eye (I'm imagining I dream of Genie).... But with every superhero there is always a weakness or Kryptonite. For the Superhero of Type 1 diabetes, our Kryptonite would be Ketones. You battle everyday against your nemesis to keep them away and from making your T1D sick. 

So there you have it the fight against the ketones will involve insulin and water!!!!!

WEGO: Health Activists Writer's Month Challenge Day 2

HAWMC DAY #2 Quotation Inspiration: Find a quote that inspires you (either positively or negatively) and free write about it for 15 minutes

My favorite quotation when dealing with most anything is by Robert Lewis Stevenson.

In dealing with Type 1 diabetes on a daily basis this quotation is perfect when you think about it. Almost every day we're faced with less than perfect numbers, so our "harvest" may not be quite what we want at the end of the day. But when you're raising a child with Type 1 diabetes sometimes less than a perfect "harvest" can just tug at your heart strings in concerns of complications, and other factors. But think of it this way, you are trying day in and day out doing everything right, so those "seeds" you are planting are much more important than the numbers on the screen. A few highs here or there are bound to happen, and it isn't your fault. You plant "seeds" daily as well in showing your child/children how to take proper responsibility and manage their diabetes the best they can on a daily basis. 

So don't worry about a less than perfect harvest. Think about the seeds you are planting now to ensure the best harvest of all in the future, (A long healthy life with diabetes).

WEGO Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge – Day 1

Today is the first day of WEGO’s HAWMC. Every day during the month of April a different prompt will be used by health activists and bloggers across the world to raise awareness for a wide variety of health issues, including diabetes, lupus, Celiac’s disease, fibromyalgia, childhood arthritis, and so much more! I will be (attempting) to participate daily as an activist for Type 1 diabetes.

Today’s prompt asks us to “Pretend you’re making a time capsule of you & your health focus that won’t be opened until 2112. What’s in it? What would people think of it when they found it?”

This is a really interesting question when you think about it. I have faith and hope that in 2112 those who open our time capsule will have no idea what these items are used for because diabetes would have been cured a long time ago. So in my vision of this they will be confused and interested in what they've come across. Included in our time capsule will be information about what Type 1 diabetes is, it's causes and how those with T1 must take insulin daily in order to stay alive. We'll have pictures of children and adults affected by diabetes to show examples of how diabetes doesn't discriminate. Included will be a blood glucose meter, lancing device, lancets, insulin syringes, the beloved glucagon kit, bottles of insulin, and testing strips. We will include in there the daily routine of something that is living with type 1 diabetes including from wake up throughout the night of sleep.

My hope is that those who open this time capsule will see how much care and work is put into living a life with type 1, but how those affected don't let it get them down and they keep on fighting back and speaking out.