The Man Behind My Awesomeness

~*Your first love isn't always the first person you kiss, or the first person you date. Your first love is the person you will always compare everyone to. The person that you will never truly get over, even when you've convinced yourself you've moved on*~

As much as I would like to take credit for all the awesomeness I have, I simply cannot. What you have to understand is that all this awesomeness you see before you today has been a work in progress, from many many years ago. There was a boy 17 years ago now (Wow, that long ago) who captured my heart. In case you are sitting there trying to do the math, I was 14 years old! 

There were many years while we were apart that I wondered what he was doing, and if he was happy. There were also many nights that he would be back there with me in my dreams, then I would wake up to my reality. I had quite a few years that were not the best. My spirit, my hopes, my dreams, every part of me was beat down and felt like there was nothing better for me out there. It wasn't until 2010 that I realized what it meant to be truly happy, to actually be loved. When he came back into my life, it seemed like all those years apart never really happened. 

You remember how fun and exciting it was to have a sleep over at your best friends house when you were younger? Well I am lucky enough to do that every night, plus some bonuses ;). I am convinced that somehow he was personally created just for me. 

I am lucky enough to have my first and my last love all in one person. I am a better person because of him, and a better mother. When you find someone that you are meant to be with, they will bring out the greatness within you, and that is what I have found. I am very thankful day in and day out that we got the opportunity to have our 'second chance'. I may seem too optimistic for some people, and too corny when I say 'Dreams do come true' but I know it for a fact because mine came true when he came back.

 

Onward to the Next Objective.....

*~When an objective is done, don't look back, look forward to your next objective!~*

Objective: Type 1 Diagnosis

Four years ago we received what could have been a final blow, the TKO, but instead it was an eye opener. We received a diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes in our oldest son Clifford. Clifford was 6 at the time and we had no idea what a diagnosis of Type 1 meant to him, to our family, or to the world. 

But this post isn't going to reminisce about the past, about the hurt, the fear, the sleepless nights, no this post is about looking forward to the next objective.

Objective: Another Healthy Year

Yes, we may have stumbled during these past few years, but we never once fell down! We've developed from the negatives, and persevered during the storm. With a disease like Type 1 diabetes, the unpredictability  makes it impossible to live more than day to day. So the next objective of our life; another healthy year; we will live day to day. During this upcoming year, we will be teaching a now 10 year old more about accepting his disease, caring for his health, and learning to overcome the obstacle of letting his disease get in his way and hold him back.

He could very well use his disease as an excuse.

~*Excuses are the nails used to build the house of failure.*~

But instead he will learn to be "STRONGER" than his excuses and only stumble, but never fall. He will learn to live a healthy, full, successful life, diabetes or not!

*~Champions are made from something they have deep inside them; -- a desire, a dream , a vision*~

And Clifford is a champion that just so happens to have Diabetes!

Life with Diabetes: What to Know from Diabetic Bloggers

I was given the opportunity as a diabetic blogger (D MOM blogger) to share with you this awesome post from Recall Center. I'd like to add that I would love for people to know that just because my son has diabetes it does not mean he consumed all the sugar he possibly could, nor does it mean he can't eat the same things as other kids. 

Read over this great post from the Recall Center

November is National Diabetes Month and here at The American Recall Center, we wanted to do our part in helping to raise awareness. Diabetes affects over 25 million people in the United States, or 8.3% of the entire population. Within those 25 million people, over 8 million are undiagnosed, or do not know they are living with diabetes. For diabetes being so widespread, there is a lack of common knowledge about how to recognize diabetes, the different types, and what it takes to manage the disease.  There are also potential risks associated with taking diabetes medication, such as Actos, that we are happy to educate this community about.

At The American Recall Center, we want to use National Diabetes Month as a platform to help educate everyone about life with diabetes and what they can do to help. With that idea in mind, we reached out to bloggers from all different walks of diabetic-life and asked them for one thing they would like the world to know about this condition. The infographic below, “Life With Diabetes” describes what they want the world to know. So this November, help us raise diabetes awareness by sharing, posting, adding your own voice, and making diabetes awareness the forefront of the national conversation!

Special thanks to the participating bloggers (in order from top to bottom):Denise, Rachel, Thomas, Megan, Brooke, Gavin, Kerri, Shelby, and Brian

D Blog Week: Accomplishments Big and Small

We don’t always realize it, but each one of us had come a long way since diabetes first came into our life. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 5 weeks, 5 years or 50 years, you’ve done something outstanding diabetes-wise. So today let’s share the greatest accomplishment you've made in terms of dealing with your (or your loved one’s) diabetes. No accomplishment is too big or too small - think about self-acceptance, something you’ve mastered (pump / exercise / diet / etc.), making a tough care decision (finding a new endo or support group / choosing to use or not use a technology / etc.).

Our Accomplishments Big and Small

I have to admit it might be a bit cliche' but our biggest accomplishment thus far since Clifford was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes is that he's alive! Diabetes is an inconsistent disease that you really never know what's going to happen every minute with it. So you must celebrate all the small victories. We've celebrated 'in range' numbers after a particularly high carb meal, or sweet treat, and we've celebrated learning to tackle that nasty bg spike that comes from eating pizza a few hours after. But the biggest celebration of all is that he's alive and healthy! What more could you ask for?

Granted you're going to have days that aren't so nice, numbers wise. But we tend think "bolus and move on". I do try to figure out as best I can what is causing those highs, but I don't stress about it as much as I used to. I've learned how his body is and works more now that we're three years into it. I can typically tell which way he should be trending after a certain meal, or bolus. I'm not always 100% right because no one's perfect, but I'm getting pretty good at it, so that in itself is an accomplishment. 

Another huge accomplishment is the addition of the insulin pump. He was on MDI's for 2 years after diagnosis, and on the dreaded sliding scale for a year and a half of that!! Throughout out it all his a1c has never been above 7.5%, except for at diagnosis. In fact 6 months after beginning the insulin pump he went from 7.5% to 6.5% and now has been hanging around the 6.4 and 6.3% mark for the last 8 months. I can say that is a huge accomplishment. The best you can do with diabetes is get up and take a hold of it and say, today you will not stop me, you may toss a few bumps along the way, but it will not stop you!

D Blog Week: Memories: A Few Moments In Time Could Save a Life!

I have to say I pretty much remember almost every single significant event that has happened in our life due to Diabetes now for the past three years. But the one that I can see crystal clear and can recall every single detail of is not the day my son was diagnosed, unconscious in DKA, or the life flight from a low blood sugar, no it's a small glimpse in D life that didn't present cause for a trip to the hospital at all, but it still haunts me to this day.

Like every parent that has a child with Diabetes, those moments walking to your child's room when they have slept in later than they normally would are frightening. One particular morning, he slept in a little later than normal, around 9am, which is late for Clifford on any given day. I tiptoed up to his room, checked to see if his chest was rising with each breath, I myself breathed a sigh of relief to see that in fact it was. I touched him to wake him up, and there was no movement, my heart sunk for a second, but when he started to stir I recovered from my cardiac episode. However I couldn't fully understand what he was trying to tell me. So I went through the normal 20 questions to see if he was in the 'right state of mind', or if a low was taking him over. "What's your name", Clifford, Okay good. "How old are you", Blank stare, no answer, again, "How old are you", : 9, awesome he's back, but something wasn't right. He was only answering me intermittently, and it just didn't sit right with me. I ran downstairs to get his meter (which is why we keep it by the bedside now), ran back up out of breath at this point to test him, thankfully I thought enough to bring a juice box with me. Tested him and he was 65, okay low but we've experienced lower, this juice will bring him right up I thought to myself.  He drank, and I planned on checking him again in 10 minutes to make sure he was coming up.

I went downstairs to toss the empty juice box in the trash, on my way through I decided to grab the cake icing tube, you know just in case. Then I went right back upstairs to check on him. During those few brief minutes, honestly maybe only 2. He had moved himself from his bed, and crawled through the hallway to the walk in closet at the other end of the hall, he was on his hands and knees in the closet, and still talking to me intermittently, he was having a slight twitch as well, not one that you would consider even the possibility of him having a seizure, or that you think of when you think seizure, but just a nervous twitch of sorts. Without thinking I grabbed him up and started forcing icing into his mouth, rubbing it on his gums, tongue, the sides of his mouth, everywhere, asking him to swallow. He had that 'low' look that I remember too perfectly, glazed eyes, wide open, staring through me like glass. It seemed to be forever in my mind, but within a few moments he started looking at me like I was crazy, which told me he had started to become 'normal' again and was aware of what was going on, in a sense. He asked why we were in the closet, and what I was doing, he had no recollection of what had happened. I guess in a way that was good for him. But his little sister who is 7 had to watch as I grabbed him up and forced icing in his mouth. I didn't panic, I just made it happen.

It wasn't until after this was all said and done, he was tested and was 141, that I sat down, and had to take a moment to come to terms with what had happened, and what we had just done. It was a simple moment in D life, that thankfully didn't require emergency intervention, but it very easily could if we had lost a few more moments in time that usually seem so insignificant. But in D life those moments are priceless and very well could save someones life!

Inside Peek Into the Life of Type 1 Diabetes

While on paper it all looks pretty simple when it comes to type 1 diabetes management. You count your carbs before you eat, you inject insulin and this all should provide you with a stable blood sugar number right? Boy do I wish.

While giving insulin to cover the carbs the body will covert into glucose in the bloodstream is extremely important, it's not the only factor when it comes to Diabetes management. Exercise plays a huge role in blood sugar numbers, it's a great way to bring a higher number down, or help keep you in your target zone. Stress tends to increase one's blood sugar numbers, as well as illness, or puberty.

But the one way I've been kept on my toes throughout it all is during the night time. No matter the basal's that we put into place at night time it seems that there is no correct 'formula' for his night time insulin dosage. Clifford's body tends to be more sensitive to the insulin during the night time, I really do not know why this is, as I haven't really researched it as much. Add into play the dawn phenomenon, which typically happens for him at least around 2-3 am, his numbers are usually hit or miss. With his increased sensitivity, if he's high, it's a horrible guessing game for the correct dosage to bring him down to a nice number. I know I have to back off a good deal of what the pump suggests at night time, but just how much, well that's another story. There is no one set number, I can't just back off .5 units and hope for the best, because I get varied results either still high or too low. (Oh yeah, did I mention you must take into consideration also if they had any activity before bedtime, as it could take a few hours to take full effect?) Sounds fun right?

What I'm left with is the job that his once vital pancreas would do. The way the pancreas works is rather beautiful. You wouldn't know it but as a non diabetic you may still have a higher blood sugar from time to time if you checked yourself. That is because the body will secret your insulin at just the right time to bring you down, but not cause you to go too low. It's in no other words beautiful. It's hard to understand this when you don't have to see the other side of a non working organ in play. But here I am left playing the part of the dead organ floating inside his body and it's a bit stressful at times.

An example of my nightly guessing game when he's high is like last night he was over 300 ( which I honestly couldn't figure out why, so I busted out the ketone meter), the pump wanted to give him 3.3 units, but woah is that a large dose at night time for him. I backed off down to 1.9 units, because the particular number 1.4 units showed up in my head (to subtract), and well I went with my instincts. Because he's corrected, I must set an alarm to get up 2 hours later to make sure he's not coming down too fast, last night he happened to be 270 something I believe, and while typically that number comes down into a more stable or target number, something in my stomach said that we should still bolus for this one as well. In fact the pump wanted to give him 1.4 units and I only gave him 0.3. The nice side of this story is, he's is sitting currently at a 117! But there are times it could go either way, it's never perfect, and it's exhausting to be in my head during these few short moments.

This is diabetes. Not what you see in books, or on the internet. It's not black and white, and while it's manageable as they say, it's not easy. It's time consuming, it's a parasite that takes from you every single moment of the day, but it's worth all the hassle to see a healthy child wake up in the morning! Just a little inside view into the life of Type 1 diabetes!

HAWMC Day 10: Wordless Wednesday!

HAWMC Day #10: Wordless Wednesday!

It's often hard to like pictures of ourselves, post your favorite picture of yourself!

 Technically since my blog is about Clifford and living with his Type 1 diabetes I figured I'd post up my favorite picture of myself but also one of him, just acting like himself. So here you go.

Acting like a goof!

The one behind the computer screen....